Sorry But I Lied
by the-beginning-of-the-end
Summary: Eric is dead and Alex is reflecting. -Six times I lied and one I didn't-


Okay, I must confess I picked 'Elephant' off the shelf at the video store purely because John had the colour hair I've always wanted. But I watched it and fell in love with it. Then I came trawling for some fan fiction and discovered the whole of three pieces, so I decided to add my contribution.

This piece is slightly AUish, and might be OOC as well. But I hope you enjoy it either way.

**Sorry But I Lied**

1.

I lied to you when I said I didn't care what anybody thought of my playing. I was, and am still, quite content to sit on the wooden bench and have Mozart and Bach flow through my fingertips. There wasn't a single person in the world that could ever make me stop playing. So when you asked why I played, and I quote, 'that *** classical crap' I told you that I did it because I enjoyed it, and no one could ever change that. My calm little speech? It was a complete lie. If you had told me to never touch my piano again because the tinkling annoyed you, I would've. No matter how many times my parents would yell at me to keep the noise down, I wouldn't stop. Only for you. Only for you would the music stop.

2.

I lied to you when I asked for details of what happened to the jock kid from school. My shocked expression and astonishment was an act as you told me how his car swerved off the road and the airbag shattered two of his ribs and left him unconscious. I knew exactly what happened. I even knew the exact chemical used to erode his brake cable. I lied when I said I didn't know until you told me. But what did he expect, after beating you up when gym class was over?

3.

I lied to you when I said there were no spare blankets that winter night you spent at my house. The house was cold and you had nowhere else to go. There were three blankets in the box under my single bed, and I get the feeling that you knew that they were there. You complained for a bit, but you climbed in next to me without hesitation or even asking first. I didn't mind; that was the whole idea. It was the warmest night I'd had in a long time.

4.

I lied to you when I told you that you were holding the gun in the wrong way. Your hands weren't in the wrong places and you probably would've had good control over any kick firing it could have delivered. But I needed some excuse and as I put my hands on yours and moved them out of position, you didn't recoil or shrink away. I put your hands back exactly where they were in the first place, but you didn't mind, did you? Even as you shot the gun you never stepped away.

5.

I lied to you when I said I'd never been kissed before. I knew you hadn't and I didn't want things to be awkward between us. I didn't want you to think that I didn't give a damn who I kissed, because I really, really did. She had to be blonde and lean and have hard eyes. Sharp features. An ironic smirk. She had to look like you, because I had to pretend it was you I was kissing.

6.

I lied to you when I told you my sister was sick and I had to go visit her in the city. She wasn't sick, but she did know a few people and I wanted to know them too. I left for two weeks, leaving you to fend off the bullies by yourself. I felt a little guilty, but when I was lying naked next to the blonde-haired sharp-eyed nineteen-year-old, I wasn't too bothered. I thought the girl looked like you, but it was much easier with him to forget that you weren't lying there with me.

NOT A LIE

I lied to you a lot in the time that we knew each other. About a lot of things. I wouldn't blame you if you never trusted me again. I know it's hard to believe, but I did tell you the truth some times. Like when I told you that I liked your hair blonde. Or when I said that there was always a bed for you at my place. But my favourite truth, the one that I'd never take back and hope you would never take for granted, was the time that I told you I loved you. Because I did. I still do. You were my best friend, my brother, my partner in crime. You were mine and I was yours.


End file.
